OPINION
If you're planning to spend any time reading, "Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy" by Jessica Fern (2020)," stick your fingers down your throat and vomit now. Just get it over with. You're not going to get to the deep end of the pool reading this book but it might be comfort food for people who want to dip a toe in without actually getting wet.
The author doesn't have any bruises because in order to get them you must get dirty, you've got to bleed, and you can't walk away when your relationships get ugly. Trial by fire means you get burned, it hurts, and there will be scars. Life-changing events don't need training wheels. Stop talking about attachment theory -- nobody cares.
People latched onto this book because it existed in the early 2020's as part of the niche, go-to Poly boom, that everybody wanted to be a part of OR said they were before it was cool...
This book has been so sanitized, Mr. Clean would give it a thumbs up. It doesn't do any of the real work necessary that life-changing relationships have to go through. It's repetitive, poorly written, and over-explains basic concepts. A lot of it looks like snippets taken from Wikipedia with endless tangents and no real depth.
Real relationships are not built on a solid foundation that's somebody else laid. They're built on the failures that gives you the opportunity see where you made mistakes, to own them, to take responsibility for them, and then make your relationship work. The truth hurts.
Anyone that says that this book saved their relationship should first make sure they're not talking about the relationship with their dog. These are the same people that gave their pets back to the pound when they weren't let back on the plane because there's no such thing as an emotional support miniature pony!
#polyamory
#Polysecure
#AttachmentTrauma
#ConsensualNonmonogamy
#JessicaFern
#BreedingKink
#NonTraditionalFamily
#AdultLiterature